My Adoption Story

My father was in Korea when my mother told me, Barbara Lela McCauley Lovejoy, that I was adopted. That's all she told me. I can remember crying and saying, "No, you are my mother!" Other than some times threatening to run away from home and go to my "real" mother when I got mad at my mom, we never discussed my adoption. Then when I was about 30, my cousin, Jeff Parker, I started doing a few things together, like playing tennis. Jeff kept commenting on how much I looked like his mother, Gerry Parker (Gerald Ray--Bud--and Lilian Leonard's youngest daughter). I would just laugh and think how silly that was because after all, I was adopted. Not long after these tennis outings I saw a movie on TV where a woman needed to find the daughter she gave up for adoption when the daughter was just a baby. The woman needed a marrow transplant, and this daughter could possibly be the only match that would save her life. This movie touched my heart in more ways than one, and I cried and cried. I wanted my "real" mom to be able to find me if she ever needed me for an emergency such as the one in the movie. Other than that I really didn't care. I called my mom and told her about watching this movie and that I was going to search for my "real" mom. My mom said that she had watched the same movie and knew that I would want to do this search. My mother lived in Washington state at the time, and I lived in Utah. She told me not to do anything until she could come to Salt Lake, and we would do the search together. Within a short time, mom made a visit to Salt Lake to see me and the rest of the Utah family. I could hardly wait to go to dinner with her and find out all she knew. I can remember that we went to dinner at Bratten's. I was really puzzled because my mother was so evasive about the whole adoption issue. She said that we would go over to my Aunt Denise's house after dinner, and they would both tell me what they knew. Needless to say, my mind was racing as I didn't know why my Aunt Denise needed to be there. After dinner, my mom, Aunt Denise, and I went into Denise's den. They told me that Gerry had gone to live with my mom and dad in Massachusetts when she found out that she was pregnant. It was decided that my mom and dad would adopt me. My grandparents--Liliian and Bud--had told my parents that if they didn't adopt me, they would. So needless to say, I had a lot of family love and support before I was even born. The first thing I said to my mom after hearing this was, "That means we are blood related! You are my aunt!" She didn't like it much that I referred to her as my aunt, but she didn't understand how much it meant to be that I was blood related--to at least her side of the family. I asked who my father was, but absolutely no one, not even Gerry, seemed to want to tell me who my father was. They claimed they didn't know, but that was a little hard to believe. I honestly didn't care that much, and I never have. It has always been amazing to me that this family secret was kept by so many members of the family. That says so much about my wonderful family, including Gerry. How I love all of them! Side note: Well, now the mystery was solved for Jeff and me--we now knew why I looked so much like his mother! :)

At the RootsTech 2016 Conference yesterday one of the speakers, Steve Rockwood, had us share a family story with a partner.  Then he challenged us to share that story with a relative.  I shared a story about Gramps--Gerald Ray (Bud) Leonard.  When I was 5 years old we were living in Hayward, California-- my father was in Korea, my mother worked full-time, and my grandparents lived in a housing area very close to us.  Gramps and Nanny would pick me up after kindergarten and keep me at their house until my mother got off work.  I loved to tease Gramps and was always coming up with mischievous ways to do so.  One time he was out watering the lawn, and I kept stepping on the hose so the water wouldn't come out.  Gramps finally decided he had had enough, and he jerked the hose to get me off of it.  The jerk not only got me off the hose, but it landed me flat on my head on the concrete patio.  Needless to say, my grandparents were shared to death.  Yet, after some tender nursing care by Nanny, I was fine.  AND I was cured of teasing Gramps--at least in that manner.  The second part of the challenge the speaker gave us yesterday was to ask the person(s) with whom we shared this story to share a story of their own about that person (or another relative).  Therefore, I invite you to share your stories at Leonardfamilyhistory.blogspot.com

Advice from Gramps

I was reminded today of some advice my grandfather, Gerald Ray (Bud) Leonard), used to give numerous times:  "It's not a bargain if you don't need it."  Remembering that advice has save me many pretty pennies.  :)

My Mom & Typing

Because today is Labor Day I thought I would share something about my mom--Bertha Bee Leonard McCauley-- and a work experience she had.  At one time while we were living at Williams Air Force Base, my mom was encouraged by her superiors at work to take a typing class.  So she did.  Not only were the students taught to type, but they also had to learn some things from a workbook or manual. Then they were tested on their typing as well as what they learned from the manual.  Much to the instructor's surprise ( and everyone else's), my mother got the highest mark on the manual info, but she never did learn to type.  :) 

Gramps and the Grandkids

It is true that Gramps (Gerald Ray--Bud--Leonard) loved each of his grandkids lots.  Denise (Leonard) Collette, his daughter always felt that he was a much better grandfather than a father.  I'm not sure about that because my mother (Bertha Bee Leonard McCauley) and Gerry (Leonard) Parker sure adored him. 


Even though Gramps loved all his grandkids, he did have a soft spot for some.  Gramps thought the world of Michael Collette, probably because he was the oldest grandchild....AND he was a boy.  Since none of his own children were boys, this made Michael that much more special. 


Gramps also had a very tender spot in his heart for Cari Parker, Gerry's daughter.  He would always talk about her with so much admiration.  She had to deal with some physical challenges, such as blindness, but in spite of those challenges, she had a happy and cheerful disposition and such determination to not let her challenges defeat her.  He felt that we could all learn from her. 


Gramps once chastised me for having a rotten disposition.  I have never forgotten how deeply that chastisement hurt because I adored Gramps and never wanted to displease him.  Tears still come to my eyes when I remember how I felt...and I often remember his words to this day when acting "bratty."   Gramps became even dearer to me when Denise and my mom told me about my adoption and told me that Gramps had said that if my mom and dad didn't adopt me, he and Nanny would raise me because I wasn't leaving the family. 

Salt Lake Cousin Memories

When I was a young girl my parents and I went to Salt Lake City, Utah often as we had a lot of family that lived in Salt Lake.  My favorite part of the trip was visiting cousins.


One time Relia Nan, the daughter of Jean Leonard Hoover, and her boyfriend took me to Lagoon with them.  I thought I was in 7th heaven when this beautiful older cousin was letting me tag along with them. 


Margo Leonard, Jack Leonard's daughter, was someone else who was fun to visit when in Salt Lake.  Even though we were 2nd cousins, we were the same age.  One time Margo and I went swimming at Liberty Park.  We also went to one of those photo booths and had crazy pictures taken of us.  I still have those pictures!


While in Salt Lake we stayed at the home of Denise (Leonard) and Norbert (Nibs) Collette.    Michael, Denise's son, and I are the same age so we did a lot of things together. When we were really young I can remember that our mothers would have us take baths together.  I can still remember when our mothers put a stop to it!  One time Michael and I decided that we wanted to do a romantic scene like in the movies.  I was going to sit on his lap and then we were going to kiss.  It all went well until we were ready to kiss.  For some reason I just couldn't do it and jumped off Mike's lap and ran away. 




Note:  Both Jean and Jack are siblings of my grandfather, Gerald Ray (Bud) Leonard...and Denise is his daughter. 

Music At Our House

My parents didn't listen to much music when I was growing up.  Yet, I can remember my little record player.  I had LOTS of 45 records with one song on each side. 



I don't think my mother even had a record until I brought back a Julia Iglesia album when I returned from my LDS mission in Ecuador.  Mom loved it!  --she thought Julio was so sexy and romantic even though the songs were in Spanish...and she didn't know a word of Spanish.
My mom didn't like movie musicals.  She said that whenever they were getting ready to kiss, they would sing a song.  :)   She took me to see "Sound of Music" when it first came out when I was 17.  I loved it, but my mom didn't enjoy it nearly as much as I did.
When I was home from college one summer my mom paid for 2 tickets to see the play musical "Annie" that was playing in Seattle.  She gave one of the tickets to my friend, Juanita Fairbanks. to go with me because mom didn't want to see a musical.  I remember being disappointed that my mom didn't go with me.
Mom did like the movie "Elvira Madigan" and the theme music.  It was the same with "Dr. Zhivago."  Later in life she saw "Phantom of the Opera" and liked the music so much, she bought the tape.