My father was in Korea when my mother told me, Barbara Lela McCauley Lovejoy, that I was adopted. That's all she told me. I can remember crying and saying, "No, you are my mother!" Other than some times threatening to run away from home and go to my "real" mother when I got mad at my mom, we never discussed my adoption. Then when I was about 30, my cousin, Jeff Parker, I started doing a few things together, like playing tennis. Jeff kept commenting on how much I looked like his mother, Gerry Parker (Gerald Ray--Bud--and Lilian Leonard's youngest daughter). I would just laugh and think how silly that was because after all, I was adopted. Not long after these tennis outings I saw a movie on TV where a woman needed to find the daughter she gave up for adoption when the daughter was just a baby. The woman needed a marrow transplant, and this daughter could possibly be the only match that would save her life. This movie touched my heart in more ways than one, and I cried and cried. I wanted my "real" mom to be able to find me if she ever needed me for an emergency such as the one in the movie. Other than that I really didn't care. I called my mom and told her about watching this movie and that I was going to search for my "real" mom. My mom said that she had watched the same movie and knew that I would want to do this search. My mother lived in Washington state at the time, and I lived in Utah. She told me not to do anything until she could come to Salt Lake, and we would do the search together. Within a short time, mom made a visit to Salt Lake to see me and the rest of the Utah family. I could hardly wait to go to dinner with her and find out all she knew. I can remember that we went to dinner at Bratten's. I was really puzzled because my mother was so evasive about the whole adoption issue. She said that we would go over to my Aunt Denise's house after dinner, and they would both tell me what they knew. Needless to say, my mind was racing as I didn't know why my Aunt Denise needed to be there. After dinner, my mom, Aunt Denise, and I went into Denise's den. They told me that Gerry had gone to live with my mom and dad in Massachusetts when she found out that she was pregnant. It was decided that my mom and dad would adopt me. My grandparents--Liliian and Bud--had told my parents that if they didn't adopt me, they would. So needless to say, I had a lot of family love and support before I was even born. The first thing I said to my mom after hearing this was, "That means we are blood related! You are my aunt!" She didn't like it much that I referred to her as my aunt, but she didn't understand how much it meant to be that I was blood related--to at least her side of the family. I asked who my father was, but absolutely no one, not even Gerry, seemed to want to tell me who my father was. They claimed they didn't know, but that was a little hard to believe. I honestly didn't care that much, and I never have. It has always been amazing to me that this family secret was kept by so many members of the family. That says so much about my wonderful family, including Gerry. How I love all of them! Side note: Well, now the mystery was solved for Jeff and me--we now knew why I looked so much like his mother! :)
